For he has not despised or scorned the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help (Ps 22:24).
In Oklahoma, we usually have a deep cold snap about this time of year. It was right on time this year, and it’s so deep and long it’s breaking records. In fact, we’re still in the middle of it. As someone who suffers from seasonal affective disorder (SAD), I’m worn out by time February comes along. January drags, but the dreary, gray days of February take their toll as winter tightens its grip before finally giving way to spring.
During cold, dismal February, grief feels like it’s compounded. Not only are we dealing with a stretch of eleven days without sunshine (or maybe thirteen—but who’s counting?), but we’re also still dealing with the impact of the global pandemic.
Each February, I remember my grandma, who passed away this month seventeen years ago. It seems that just yesterday, we watched Home Improvement together. We saw the George Strait movie Pure Country so many times I lost count. Grandma watched for George, and while I liked him, I developed a crush on Kyle Chandler (and I still watch almost everything he’s in). I ironed her blouses, and in her latter years, cleaned her house and helped her pay bills. She laughed easily and had a light and hopefulness within her that could have only come from Jesus.
What I’ve come to realize is that the grief I feel even after all these years is borne out of love. Without the deep love I felt for my grandma, there would be no corresponding grief.
You may be experiencing a season of grief. Perhaps you’ve lost a loved one, a job or business, or your community. You may be grieving the loss of the normal life you had before the COVID pandemic.
It’s important to allow yourself time to grieve your loss, whatever it may be. And remember to give grace to others because everyone is going through something.
As Christians, we should grieve a little differently. While I believe we should let ourselves feel the loss and deal with the emotions, we shouldn’t stay there, stuck in the mire. We have hope for a brighter tomorrow and for an eternity with Jesus where all things will be made new (Rev. 21:5).
When we’re stuck in grief, how do we move forward?
I find that the best thing for me is to stay in God’s Word. His Word lights my path (Ps. 119:105). When I neglect reading my Bible, I drift away from him, and the darkness presses closer. Worship music also brings him near. When I’m singing about God’s goodness, I can’t help but feel lighter.
These grief-filled, dark days will pass. Brighter days are ahead.
Dear Jesus, help us through the dark days of winter. Reveal yourself to us and draw near so that we feel your comforting presence. Amen.
An absolutely perfect post for these days. Gray and heavy. Grief is that intangible thing we carry in our hearts. Sometimes, we have to trudge through the early stages of grief. Over the weeks, months, and years we begin to live again. But, we learn that the sting of grief can hit like a bolt out of the blue regardless of the time that has passed. We regret the things we didn’t say or do, even as we work to make sure those who love us won’t have regrets.
That is so true. Grief never completely leaves us.
For me the end of December are the darkest days. Sunlight shortens drastically. There is the contrast of the twinkling lights, music and over-top-yard decorations, and the day of Christmas which I will spend alone. Then, I head to the Texas to see my children who there visiting my ex-husband. We spend our time in restaurants and malls. I enjoy their company, but it is mostly out in the crowds. I miss spending time at home with family.
Spending Christmas alone or out and about must be difficult. I find that the holidays magnify everything, and there are definitely some dark days around Christmas and following that feel contradictory to the joy of the season.
Thank you for this Staci. It does help to know that I’m not alone with these feelings. The winter months are dark for me also. The normal let down when Christmas is over, New Years Eve, my mother’s death and her birthday in January, Valentine’s Day, even the snow makes me sad. I’m not a winter person at all, and I tend to pull the blinds and withdraw from the world. But lately I have spent more time in God’s word and trying to focus on all the things I’m thankful for. I am extremely blessed in so many ways. I don’t have the right to complain ever. I know he’s holding me through these dark days, and soon, Lord willing, I will be standing in the sunshine again.
I’m so glad you’re staying in God’s Word to help through the dark days! I love the thought of “standing in the sunshine again.”