“To answer before listening—that is folly and shame.” (Proverbs 18:13)

I struggle with personalization—where I think someone’s actions or comments are aimed at me, specifically, even when there’s no clear indication that the person meant it that way. For instance, if a friend doesn’t respond to a text by the time I think she should, I might start to think that she doesn’t want to talk to me. That leads to a spiral where I replay everything I’ve said or done that could have been misinterpreted as offensive. Then I end up believing that, not only does she not want to talk to me, but I have also done irreparable damage to our friendship (by doing something I have no memory of). When she eventually responds and tells me about her sick child and the complications of running the household while also being sick herself, I realize the delayed response had nothing to do with me. Continue reading “The Stories We Tell Ourselves” →