“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Mt 11:28-30 NIV).

It’s been many years since I created New Year’s resolutions. Instead, through much prayer and research, I choose a word for the year. Over the years, I’ve chosen words such as “trust,” “focus,” and “compassion.” For the last two years, my word was “bold.” I kept a journal of instances where I could see God moving boldly in my life. Throughout it all, he used the word to push me out of my comfort zone so that I depended more on him and less on others.

In November, I started praying about a new word for 2020. God had used “bold” to grow me in fantastic ways early in the year, but change had swept through my life during the second half of the year so that “bold” now felt light-years away. I was tired. Physically tired, yes, but also soul weary in a way I couldn’t remember feeling before. I thought that perhaps the stress of my job (which I love but is unstable) combined with giving through numerous volunteer positions had created burnout.

I felt drawn to the word “rest,” so I started a list of words to pray over. I looked up the definition of “rest” in Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary: “a bodily state characterized by minimal functional and metabolic activities; freedom from activity or labor; a state of motionlessness or inactivity; the repose of death” (Merriam Webster). Death? Really? I don’t think God wants me to stop moving (or die, but only he knows for sure). Instead, I believe he’s asking me to slow down and acknowledge his presence and my need for him.

So I scrapped the word “rest.” I continued to search and pray, and I found a book called Rhythms of Renewal: Trading Stress and Anxiety for a Life of Peace and Purpose by Rebekah Lyons. The idea of renewal in all its forms appealed to me. Merriam-Webster’s definition of “renew” is “to make like new; restore to freshness, vigor, or perfection; to make new spiritually; to restore to existence; to make extensive changes in.” So I prayed specifically about the word “renew” and felt a peace I hadn’t known in a while.

I don’t know where the journey of this word will lead me in the coming year. I never do.

I can already see challenges ahead because I like to pack my schedule with activities. I stay so busy at times that I don’t have time for the work God has planned for me. Instead, my schedule is filled with things I want to do and think are important. Good things, to be sure, but not necessarily what God wants for me. Because of this, I miss opportunities to do his work because I’m too busy or too tired from everything else on my schedule.

That needs to change, and it must change in order for me to do his work instead of my own. To find true renewal, I must submit my schedule to God and allow him to lead. I know with his guidance, I can face each challenge directly, and my soul will be renewed and restored so that I can continue the work he has for me.

Dear Jesus, thank you for the way you have shown up through each word I’ve chosen over the years. I have seen you at work in all areas of my life, helping me learn and grow. I pray you’ll renew me in a way that only you can. Amen.