“Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted” (Ps 25:16).

We all feel lonely at times. Loneliness can sneak up on us whether we’re in a crowd or by ourselves. When we spend time alone by choice, we come away feeling refreshed and energized. But when being alone isn’t our choice, it can feel overwhelming and draining.

Loneliness has serious health consequences and has been called an epidemic. In a study conducted by researchers at the Health Resources and Services Administration, the authors stated that loneliness and isolation can be as damaging to your health as smoking fifteen cigarettes a day (The “Loneliness Epidemic,” January 2019). Another survey by The Economist and the Kaiser Family Foundation noted that over 25 percent of adults in the U.S. say they always or often feel lonely, lack companionship, or feel left out or isolated (The Economist, Sept. 1, 2018). And a survey by Cigna revealed that nearly half of Americans always or sometimes feel alone or left out, while 54 percent said they always or sometimes feel that no one knows them well (Pollack, E. May 1, 2018).

Loneliness strikes us for a variety of reasons. Author Gretchen Rubin lists seven types of loneliness in this excellent blog post. Identifying the type of loneliness you feel can help determine the best way to combat it.

One type of loneliness is a lack of connection to others. This can happen for many reasons, such as moving to a new city or shifting dynamics in your social group. When I first moved to a new city, I knew only a couple of people, and I worked from home. I spent a lot of time—too much time—alone.

I looked for a way to connect with others. I signed up to serve at church and began the process of developing new relationships. When serving one hour a week wasn’t enough to form the type of deep connections I was looking for, I organized dinners for my serve team. Then I joined a small group at church, and eventually, I volunteered for more responsibilities within the Oklahoma Writers’ Federation, Inc. (OWFI), and forged even more connections.

Even so, loneliness sometimes catches me off guard. God created us to be in community, and when I don’t make time for the people in my life, I feel the negative effects.

I’ve found the following ways help me combat loneliness:

• Reaching out to a friend. Whether by text or phone call, corresponding with a friend eases loneliness. And meeting up in person, if we both have time, is even better. I try to be respectful of people’s schedules so that I’m not asking them to do things at the last minute, but loneliness doesn’t always give me notice. Sometimes, last minute meetups are the just the thing.
• Reading my Bible. Reading Bible app plans about a topic I’m struggling with, such as loneliness or anxiety, helps me turn my heart away from myself and toward Jesus. Also, I look up verses related to the struggle and write them down to refer to again later.
• Praying. Stopping to pray interrupts my negative thought patterns. I like to journal my prayers when possible. Not only does the act of writing help me organize my thoughts, but it also allows me to look back and see all that God has done to answer to my prayers.
• Listening to worship music. It’s hard to stay down long when praising the goodness of God.
• Walking my dog. My Yorkie companion, Lilly, has done wonders to offset my loneliness. When I realize loneliness or isolation are getting to me, I pick up her leash and take her for a walk. The exercise and sunshine help me get out of my head. And in the evenings, I barely have time to sit down before she jumps into my lap.

Jesus himself was surrounded by a small group of close friends and a few he held even closer. God understands our need to connect with others because he created us with that longing. With his help, I can use the tools he’s given me to fight loneliness and move my attention away from the problem and onto the one who has the solution: Jesus.

Dear Jesus, you know the epidemic that loneliness has become and how isolated we can be from each other. Thank you for showing me ways to combat loneliness. Help us to reach out to each other and always seek you. Amen.