Author’s Note: This month, my blog posts will all focus on thankfulness.
“Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Phil 1:6)
As Thanksgiving draws near, I begin to think more about all the things for which I’m thankful. In an effort to focus more on my blessings, I’m participating in the Oklahoma Writers’ Federation, Inc. (OWFI) gratefulness photo challenge this month. Each day, I’ll post a different picture of something for which I’m thankful.
The first photo prompt was to share a photo of someone I see every day, which was a challenge for me since I live and work alone. I can go for several days without seeing another person unless I make an effort to do so. For the photo challenge, I shared a picture of my dog, Lilly. She’s a loyal companion, and I’m more thankful for her than I can really express. After I posted the photo, I felt God speaking to my heart, encouraging me to think more deeply about the meaning the prompt had for me. After all, I realized, I do see someone every day.
Me.
I haven’t always been thankful to be me. Like most teenagers, I felt awkward and out of place most of the time. I didn’t really fit into any group. I was a nerd when being a nerd wasn’t cool. I did better in school than many of my classmates, which set me apart. Finding out someone had befriended me just so I would help her with her homework was quite a blow to this young teenage girl’s self-esteem.
Even as an adult, I’ve felt like an outsider for most of my life. Still too introverted, too shy, too so much of all the things no one wants to be. Sometimes, it’s hard to like myself when I carry too much anxiety, worry, and fear. I’ve longed to be outgoing and vivacious, to say the right thing at the right time, to be the life of the party.
But I don’t know how to be any of those things. So I’ve always just been myself.
Today, being myself is exactly who I want to be. Perhaps it’s because I’m getting older and fitting in doesn’t matter as much as it did before. I’ve learned to love the quiet, shy, introverted me, for “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Ps 139:14).
Jesus has always accepted me just as I am. He had a plan in mind for my life that fits my personality perfectly. A life in which I work alone, but have strong family and community support around me. A life in which I use my gifts and my talents to reach people for him.
The truth is, I’m not enough on my own. I need Jesus to be complete. But I can love the person God made me to be while remembering that he’s still working on me, and I’ll never be a finished product on this side of heaven. I’m thankful that in Jesus, I’m enough of everything that he made me to be.
Dear Jesus, thank you for showing me the valuable person I am. You love me and have saved me, and I didn’t have to change anything before you accepted me. Thank you for creating me with unique gifts and a unique personality that can be used to reach people for you that no one else can. Amen.