“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” (Ex 20:12)

When I was a child, one of my favorite traditions was to gather with family and eat all the food. We would go to a relative’s house – either my grandma’s or one of my dad’s siblings’ homes. I had to sit at the kids’ table, but the truth was, I really preferred being there instead of at the adults’ table. As shy as I was, I struggled to find something to say to the adults, even though they were family, and I froze like a deer in the headlights when one of them spoke to me. If I needed something, I would whisper in my mom’s ear. But at the kids’ table, my cousins didn’t care how shy I was. They told stories and entertained each other and me in the process.

After we ate our fill, and then the adults would visit while we kids played. My cousins were good about inviting me to play with them. Most of the time, I would have preferred reading to playing, but I can remember only a handful of times when I actually removed myself from the group activity to read a book by myself. Every time I joined in, I had fun, making memories that last to this day.

As family members moved away or married, our family traditions began to change. Spouses were introduced, and grandkids came into the picture. After I became an adult and got married myself, my family’s traditions altered to include my then-husband. We lost family members along the way, including my grandma, who was at the center of our Christmas gatherings on my mom’s side.

Then I got divorced, and our traditions changed yet again. I went from attending so many large, extended family get-togethers that we were still meeting after Christmas to a small gathering of just five immediate family members. After my brother and his wife moved, they were unable to make the trip back home every year, and we went from five people to three. Now, it’s just me and my parents and Lilly, my Yorkie, most of the time.

As the years have gone by, I’ve adjusted to the smaller group size. Instead of feeling anxious because things have changed and our gatherings aren’t larger, I’m thankful for the people I still have in my life. These small Thanksgiving gatherings have provided a great opportunity for some one-on-one time with my mom and dad – time I wouldn’t get with them in a large group setting. And of course, Lilly, as my only furry child and my parents’ nearest furry granddog, gets all the love and attention.

I’ve spent too many years wishing for what I don’t have – namely, a family of my own. Instead of wishing the years away, I’m learning to value what’s right in front of me. I do have a family of my own. It may not look like a traditional family, and it may not look like your family, but it’s mine all the same. The Lord has blessed me with loving, supporting parents, a brother and sister-in-law who keep in touch in spite of the distance, a dog who showers me with unconditional love (as long as I don’t forget her favorite treat), and friends who are involved in my life and have become like family.

As time has passed, family traditions have changed, and even my definition of family isn’t what it used to be. But one thing has stayed the same. My parents are always there for me, no matter what. I have so many things for which to be thankful, and I’m so grateful for the time I have with them and their unending support.

Dear Jesus, thank you for my family and the many traditions we’ve had over the years. Help me as I embrace this season of my life and enjoy the time I have with my parents. Show me how to be present in the moment and enjoy each one with them. Amen.