It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. (Gal 5:1)

As we celebrate Independence Day here in the US, I’m reminded of my own journey to independence. A week after I turned eighteen, I attended my first day of college. I longed for independence, but I was afraid of it too—of the responsibility and all the unknowns.

My first year of college, I lived at home and commuted forty-five minutes one way. I had one foot out the door, so to speak, but the other firmly rooted at home in case I needed a safety net. Even when I moved into the dorm my sophomore year, I didn’t accept the independence offered. Instead, I chained myself to a desk to study (which is what I thought college was about) and went home every weekend to work in a small, local grocery store. I married at the end of my sophomore year, which created a new sort of dependence on someone.

With every step I took toward securing my independence, I added more responsibilities, more chances to fail, and therefore, more fear. That fear was rooted in control because as I moved toward independence, toward the unknown, I had less control over my life instead of more.

While I didn’t recognize this need for control at the time, I know that I have often let fear rule my life. Even now, the independence I’ve gained by being my own boss is threatened by my fear of failure, and much of what happens with my business is out of my control.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said we can’t serve two masters (Matthew 6:24). He used money as an example, but this really applies to anything that we prioritize over God. Including fear. I might not want to admit that I’m prioritizing fear, but that’s exactly what I do when I give it my attention and allow it to dictate my decisions. I can’t serve both God and fear. If I’m fearful, I’m not trusting God. I have to let go of control. Easier said than done, though, right?

It is only through dependence on God that I find true independence and freedom. This is an irony that I understand better as I get older and grow in my walk with Jesus. I find independence and freedom through prayer and community with other believers and by abiding (or sitting still with) Jesus. The freedom Jesus offers came at the cost of his life. And because of this freedom, I don’t have to live in fear any longer.

Dear Jesus, thank you for true freedom that is found by trusting and depending on you. Amen.