“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps” (Prov 16:9).

I’m a planner at heart, and I’m in my element when I’m organizing something, whether it’s my office space or an event. I like to plan things well in advance – the farther out, the better. Even one of my dates once pegged me for a planner, probably because I refused to drop everything to meet up for coffee at a moment’s notice. Sorry, but I only do that for good friends (and potential clients).

Even though I live like I think spontaneity is from the devil, I can—and have—adapted when necessary. In a previous blog post, I wrote about the way I sometimes meet up with friends at moment’s notice to combat loneliness. This works both ways. If a friend needs me, then I try to be there for her as well. While being spontaneous is difficult for me, it’s not impossible, and I find I benefit a great deal from releasing my hold on my schedule.

Throughout 2019, I learned great lessons in planning—and in being spontaneous. On the planning side, I worked with a great team to organize the Oklahoma Writers’ Federation, Inc. (OWFI) conference. On the spontaneous side, I dropped everything to help my mom the day she fell and broke her kneecap.

At that point, planning went out the window. My mom needed me nearby, at least for a while, and most of my friends and activities were almost two hours away. Thankfully, my caregiver situation was temporary, but for others, it may be ongoing.

While planning has benefits, spontaneity does too. I’ve grown as I’ve worked to incorporate flexibility in my life. Personal growth is never easy, and often, it revolves around an area where we don’t see a problem. Such was the case for me. Now, I see that my tendencies to plan help maintain my illusion of control. Adding some flexibility to my schedule means I can meet people where they are. It also means I trust God to lead me to the right decisions, which increases my confidence.

With God’s help, I’ll continue down this path of growth. Even though planning to be spontaneous is an oxymoron, it’s a step in the right direction for me. I don’t know that I’ll ever be fully spontaneous, but right now, I’m planning events with less frequency and leaving gaps in my schedule because you never know what a day will bring.

Dear Jesus, thank you for the personal growth that allows me to trust you more. Help me to be flexible and make time for the people in my life. Amen.