“I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation…” (Phil 4:12b)

In high school, I was part of a club that ran a Valentine’s Day fundraiser. Students ordered carnations in red, pink, or white, with each color representing love, like, and friendship, respectively. The members of the club, including me, delivered the carnations to the excited recipients on Valentine’s Day. Everyone held their breath that day to see who would get which color, and I know very little school work got done.

One year, one of my best friends bought a white carnation for me. I still remember how surprised I was. Almost all of our friends had boyfriends except for me, and she didn’t want me to feel left out. That gesture has stayed with me through the years and has impacted the way I interact with my own friends. I want to be that person who looks out for my own friends’ feelings in that way.

This Valentine’s Day, I’m choosing not to focus on my relationship status, but instead, I’m looking at all the people God has brought into my life. I’m thankful for my family and friends, who consistently point me to Jesus when I’m feeling unworthy. I’m thankful for my dog, Lilly, who is a constant source of companionship. I’ve developed strong, lifelong friendships with a circle of women whom God has brought into my life, and I know we can depend on each other for prayer, encouragement, and support. These women bring me joy and challenge me to be a better person.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to understand that I’m a whole person both when I’m in a relationship and when I’m single. Being single can be hard, but it has allowed me to do things that I wouldn’t have been able to do had I been married. I’ve been married, and I know the difficulties found in marriage as well and try to keep those in mind when I’m feeling down.

In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul discusses the benefits of being single, including the opportunity to focus on Jesus in a way you can’t do when your attention is divided by a partner and a family. I’m working to change my perspective to match that of Paul. I want my focus to be on strengthening my relationship with Jesus. I am his, and that is all that really matters.

Dear Jesus, thank you for helping me to take captive the negative thoughts about myself and my relationship status and turn them toward you. Remind me of your unfailing love for me, and help me to show that love to others. Amen.