“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.” (Col. 3:15)

During the month of November, our thoughts turn to thankfulness more than at any other time of the year. Even so, when we’re dealing with something difficult, it can be hard to be grateful.

Does anyone ever feel gratitude for difficult circumstances? Perhaps someone who is unusually optimistic does. I believe I’m an optimistic person, but—full disclosure here—gratitude is not my first response when things are tough.

While we may not feel grateful at the time, we can often look back and see the blessings that come from hard times. But in the moment, we’re too close to the situation to see how anything good could come of it. How can the loss of a job, parent, or spouse be good? How can chronic illness or a pandemic be good? Maybe your loss doesn’t seem as significant as those I’ve listed here, but it’s still significant to you.

Expressing gratitude during tough times is challenging. And we all know how tough the last year and a half has been for us all. How can we focus on gratitude in the middle of a season filled with pain?

Start small. Think of one thing you’re grateful for today, and write it down. Start with the obvious if necessary—your salvation, your home, or your family, friends, or pets. Look around you—what people or things are nearby that you could list?

Listen to uplifting music. Music heightens positive emotions and stimulates dopamine, which signals the brain to feel pleasure. Listening to the words of Christian songs or hymns—or even better, singing along—will help change your focus.

Read the Bible. Look up verses about gratitude in a Bible app or concordance, or do a Google search. When we immerse ourselves in God’s Word, our perspective changes.

Pray. Talking to Jesus about our problems won’t make them go away. But the Holy Spirit will comfort us and give us peace so we’re reminded that no matter we’re going through, we’re never alone.

If you’re dealing with difficult circumstances or the loss of a loved one during this holiday season, please reach out—to me or to someone close to you—and ask for prayer. Please know that you don’t have to carry your burdens alone.

Dear Jesus, please comfort all those who are dealing with trying times and loss. Give them your peace, and draw them close as you help them carry their burdens. Help us remember you are always there for us. Amen.