Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails (Prov 19:21).

In last week’s blog post, I wrote about the things I gained and the things that worked for me in 2020. This week, I’m looking at what I lost or what didn’t work. When I know what didn’t work, I can take steps to make changes.

Honestly, 2020 was full of losses—for some more than others. It would be easy to focus on all the bad things, especially since 2021 seems as if it’s just a continuation of the craziness of last year.

But my purpose is not to wallow in negativity. Instead, I want to acknowledge what was lost  so that I can grieve it and move on (because you can’t grieve what you don’t recognize). After that,  I can make changes to the things I can control and move on.

Three of the losses that stand out to me include the following:

Planning

Planning went out the window for just about everyone. Where my calendar was full, it was now empty. At first, it was nice to have more time to read and focus on my business and my writing. But as the year dragged on, it lost its novelty. For me, planning provides a stabilizing aspect to my life, and that was lost in the uncertainty of the pandemic.

In-person gatherings

I miss seeing my friends in person. Before the pandemic, I saw them regularly at church, small group gatherings, and writing meetings. Early in the pandemic, we met via Zoom or FaceTime, and we even got together in person, outside, a few times when the weather cooperated in the summer and fall. But as time went on, Zoom fatigue set in, so we arranged fewer and fewer meetups online, and unfortunately, Oklahoma’s winter weather doesn’t always allow for outdoor meetings.

Friendships

Last week, I wrote about friendships I gained. But I also lost touch with friends too. The stress of taking care of a family during a pandemic had some of my friends readjusting their priorities just as I did my own. This also ties into my previous point about in-person gatherings. Without a shared goal to bring us together, it became obvious how little we had in common. While I still consider those people my friends and always will, we don’t stay in touch the way we once did. This feels like my biggest loss.

The Lesson

Overall, 2020 has taught me numerous lessons, some of which I’m still learning and some I may not recognize for years to come. The lesson that stands out from these losses is that I have to learn to let go—of planning and people. Ultimately, I have no control over situations or people, but with God’s help, I can control my attitude and response.

Dear Jesus, I’m grieving the losses of 2020. Thank you that I can still plan things whether they work out or not. Thank you for the people in my life, no matter how long they stay. I pray my responses will honor you. Help me remember you are in control. Amen.